Letters To God + Mary Oliver + Tillich (2/3/15)

Dear Friends – Lovers and Seekers of the Mystery of God – Celebrants of the Sacrament of Life!

Sometimes a story really helps. This story made me howl with laughter. Then it made me really think. Who knows what it will do for you? Consider reading the story slowly and aloud to yourself.

“Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. ‘Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.’ Now, little Carol had been getting into trouble at school and at home. Carol’s mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did. Carol’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her behavior over the last year. So she asked Carol to write a letter to God and say why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter.

LETTER #1: Dear God: I have been a very good girl this year, and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Carol.

Carol knew this wasn’t true. She had not been a very good girl this year, so she tore up the letter and started over.

LETTER #2: Dear God: This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I would like a read bike for my birthday. Thank you, Carol.

Carol knew this wasn’t true either. She tore up the letter and started again with a little more bargaining.

LETTER #3: Dear God: I know I haven’t been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday. Thank you. Carol.

Carol knew, even if it were true, this letter was not going to get her a bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and told her mother that she wanted to go to church. Carol’s mother thought her plan had worked because Carol looked very sad. ‘Just be home in time for dinner,’ her mother said.

Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up the small statue of the Virgin Mary, slipped it under her jacket, and ran out of church, down the street, into her house, and back up to her room. She shut the door and sat down to write another letter.

LETTER #4: God: I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE. SIGNED, YOU KNOW WHO.”

This story is from Integral Christianity: The Spirit’s Call to Evolve by the Rev. Paul R. Smith who applies Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory in all of its dimensions to Christianity.

Rev. Smith goes on to say: “Bargaining with God represents a tribal stage consciousness that is still with us today and not just with kids. Little Carol’s mother was also teaching Carol how to bargain with a tribal God who grants favors to good kids and withholds favors from the bad kids, even punishing them.”

As you reflect on your theology, how would you describe it?

Theology matters – Are other people safe with your theology? Are you safe?

The theology here with Mary Oliver is open, inclusive, accepting, honoring all – with reverence for all. This is more like the message of Jesus in whose way I seek to live my life.

Please also read to slowly and aloud to yourself, these words from Paul Tillich, a theologian.

“Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life. It strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than usual, because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or from which we were estranged. It strikes us when our disgust for our own being, our indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of direction and composure have become intolerable to us. It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage. Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: “You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know. Do not ask for the name now; perhaps you will find it later. Do not try to do anything now; perhaps later you will do much. Do not seek for anything; do not perform anything; do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted!”

Grace and Peace

Relationships: Loving and Being Loved (10/2)

Sylvia, a long time good friend of ours (18 years), asked me to take part in her daughter’s wedding. It was at Columbia University (NYC) last Saturday on one of the most beautiful days ever. I was to give a short homily.

Paul Tillich says: “the first step in loving is listening.” And the second step after listening is “speaking with an open heart.” Both of these require intimate and focused time and attention. I decided to do a little research on how much time couples were spending with each other to nurture and grow their loving relationship. I was astonished.

Couples text each other about 1,000 times a year, have about 400 emails a year, and often check Facebook to find out what is going on.

And then this. The average couple communicates in person just three hours and 45 minutes a week. But wait. Thirty-seven minutes of this is with household chores and 51 minutes is spent silently in front of the TV.

This leaves about 137 minutes a week, a little over two hours, or 19 minutes a day to be present, attentive, intimate, listening and speaking with open hearts. The wedding service uses beautiful and sensitive words like “cherish”, “patient and kind,” and “loving and faithful.”

How can folks do all of this in 19 minutes a day? Many are working 10-12 hours a day, commuting adds more time, and they are expected to bring work home in the evening. Love is the greatest gift one experiences in life – how can you sustain your love for one another with 19 minutes a day?

Questions for all, whether in a relationship or not – when, where and with whom do you feel open, free, loving, and cherished? Where do you feel seen, appreciated, free to be your true self, and loved?

Go back over your life – remember those who loved you and those you loved.

Coming Home: A Fall Contemplative Retreat

In the tradition of the Iona Retreats founded by Marv and Nancy Hiles.

“The path of real life moves from one shelter to another. We are not drifters or homeless, but seekers, pilgrims, itinerants of a hidden impulse”

–All the Days of My Life by Marv and Nancy Hiles

Robert and Nina Close announce a very special contemplative retreat at the Santa Sabine Retreat Center where they have attended for many years. Inspired by the retreats led by Marv and Nancy Hiles, quoted often in the Soul Nuggets. This retreat will blend quiet time in a perfect location, deep community, chapel gatherings, art process with Debbie Ryon, and more – all centered around the theme of “Coming Home.” Throughout our lives, that longing to be at home – with ourselves, with others – manifests in many different ways, and has much to teach us. And amidst change and transition, a sense of “homeground” is vital and can show up in many ways.

We hope that you might feel led to join us at Santa Sabina Retreat Center. Here is the information for taking the next step:

Dates: Thursday, November 13th to Sunday, November 16, 2014

Location: Santa Sabina Retreat Center, San Rafael, CA

Cost: $485 for a single room / $425 per person for a double room.

Meals: All meals are included in the total cost.

Space for the retreat is limited and is limited to a first come, first serve basis.

Contact: Are you ready to register? Do you want to have more information? Please contact Nina Frost at: nhfrost at aol dot com or call: 347-546-4029.