The Secret To Dying Well (1/24/15)

Good Morning Celebrants of Life on the Soul Nugget List!

Charlie Bower is 72 years old and has been suffering from ALS. He wrote his last blog – One Day At A Time – Jan 23, 2015. I met Charlie at a retreat at the Shalom Mountain Retreat and Study Center maybe 30 years ago. There is much that we can learn from Charlie. It is an honor to be sharing his life wisdom with you. I feel that there is some sacred, soul full, about reading his words at this time. There will come a time for each one of us when we shall be writing our last words. Between now and then, how shall we live?

“The constant and relentless journey I am experiencing with ALS continues unabated and the will to live continues to be squeezed from my body. I sleep more, eat less – it seems to be just part of the shutting down process. Life is lived one day at a time as I await the bolt from the blue. Unlike many people who have ALS my voice works. When my voice goes, I will also lose much of my ability to swallow and I will no longer be able to use my cough assist. I really don’t know how much longer I will live but I do believe that I will know when to cry uncle and to release my grip on life. My hope is that I will have the courage to do the unthinkable. I do not report on my conditions so that you may pity me but to give you some perspective from this side of the fence. It is also my way to encourage you to live as fully as you can while you can.

When I came into the world in 1942 the world was at war and from then until now it continues. If you look at all of the segments of our culture politics, education, healthcare, financial they are all cards in the house of cards. Sometimes in conversation with my friends we try to imagine what the world will be like in 40 or 50 years – there’s just so many unknowns.

My hope for a positive future is that enough people will develop an attitude of gratitude. That awareness on a personal level will become more important than hockey or The Big Bang Theory. Starting at an early age mindfulness will be as important as arithmetic. This will only happen to one intrinsically motivated person at a time but at some point the hundredth monkey concept will kick in, a tipping point will be reached, the paradigm will shift. With mindfulness it’s possible things could be seen in a much clearer light, using the prism of understanding, open-mindedness and love. Imagine what this will do for all the important decisions that must be made for our planet and at a personal level.  A mindfull consciousness would displace the low-energy victim states of anger, guilt, resentment with higher energy states of acceptance, enjoyment and enthusiasm. I can write page after page of the fears I have for our planet but I do have a strong belief in human resilience. I believe if the world is to change course the web will allow people to be connected everywhere all the time and at some point perhaps 50 or 200 years from now there will be a tipping point. It’s also possible that humans are nothing more than a disease on our planet and the planet will find a way to cure itself, getting rid of the human bacteria.

Enough about me what about you – are you living life in the shadows somewhat seduced by comfort? Are you experiencing enough love and belonging, personal power, freedom and fun? It’s been said something to the effect that “you only live once but if you live right once is enough” and I guess that’s the fundamental question of life.  What does it mean to live right?  Of course this is a personal question but whatever that is for you I would encourage you to pick up your fiddle and move in the direction of what scares you. The worst thing that could happen is that you will die but at least you will die living.

I met Hallie in 1984 at my first shalom retreat. I’ve never laid eyes on her since. I am not much of a Facebook user but every once in a while something comes into my in box and today it was from Hallie. I opened it and read the following quote:

“Is there anything that you want to do with your life you’re not doing? Do you wish you had more meaning in your life or are you full up? Is it something you want to “Be”? Do you want more love and belonging, power, freedom or fun? What in the hell are you waiting for? The secret to dying well is living well – whatever that is for you simply become fierce about your life and do it before it is too late.”

This sums up the essence of what I was trying to say with all my blog posts and undoubtedly  these actions would lead to a more meaningful and fulfilling life. When your time comes to die you could smile and say what a trip, knowing that you attempted every day to play your music. Whoever and wherever you are  thanks for being part of my life. To everything there is a season……”

You Must Change Your Life (1/11/15)

Your vision keep you changing day by day

People of all faiths or of none can experience the truth of these words.

Matthew 2:12 tells of the wise men: “In a dream, they were warned not to report back to Herod. So they worked out another route, left the territory without being seen, and they went home by another way.:

I suggest you read this simple verse two-three times. Feel your way into the experience. How is this a story in your life?

I believe we have moments of insight, of transformation, of breakthroughs, of new being. A blaze of recognition telling us you can’t go back to Herod, to the rulers of the culture, to your old life. Never go back.

Folks come to me speaking of being dry, low on energy, tired, and bored, knowing they must evolve or die. We talk together about creativity, about vision, about dreaming the future. Your vision keep you changing day by day.

“You can’t tun with that crowd no more” as Leonard Cohen has noted, and you know in your heart that you must evolve or die, you must go home by another way. Let’s put our feet into this experience. Print out this text and literally talk a walk for ten minutes away from your home while reading the text and meditating as you walk.

Do you want to go back to the same old, same old?

Do you want 2015 to be just like 2014 or like 2013?

Now stop!

“Work out another route – go home a different way” with your feet and as you walk, listen deep within to the “I can’t go back to Herod and those old ways of life! I must evolve or die. I must change my life.” The choice is always ours.

Listen also to the new and creative way your heart and soul knows so that you can too can work out another route and go home by a different way. YES! You can do this! You can do this! Already you are in the process of doing this!

Let your heart take courage!

David Whyte speaks of a courageous conversation with yourself.

“I think you know this nor would this star have shaken the shackles off, bursting with light, until there is no place that does not see you. You must change your life.” -Rilke

Consciousness, courage, and a commitment to be free and fully alive.

We are all sparks of the Divine flame
Blessed Be
Compassionate Be
Boldly Be

The Afternoon Of Your Life (1/9/15)

My wife and I saw Selma last night – powerful. Tears and weeping at times. The courage of people to stand up for dignity, freedom, equality. Many of you marched, rode busses, preached, demonstrated – God Bless You!

Dear friends on the journey with, in and to the Eternal Now we call God. Let me say at the beginning that I hope you will read this and I would love to hear from any and all of you who find that you relate to this which I now call “Learnings in the afternoon of your life.”

I woke up thinking about learning, education, school – life-long learning. They say that the first six years of your life are the most critical years for learning. I can’t argue with the experts. Most of you reading this have gone on to a great academic education. This is the way the culture, your family of origin, the church, other spiritual institutions, the Boy/Girl Scouts, the colleges, universities, seminaries, pour all of their content and concepts forming and informing our being.

But then there comes a time in the words of Carl Jung:

“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was a great morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.”

You and I know that there is so much more in the afternoon of life. While I am most grateful for all the education of my youth, it comes to me that I have learned more in my years 35-74 than I learned in those early years. That which worked in the morning of my life did not work in the afternoon of my life.

There have been shifts, breakthroughs, journeys to far countries, transitions, painful times, joyful times – deaths and resurrections – and I expect that you too have in your own fashion been acquainted with all the ways that life is a’learning you.

I am writing this to invite you to reflect upon your own life journey and to remember your stepping stones, your times of deep insight and transformation, deaths and resurrections, moving in new directions, of making necessary changes, of beginnings without end. Those times when you may have said along with May Sarton:

Now I become myself.
It’s taken Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people’s faces.

Our life story, our journey to authenticity, freedom and wholeness, is of vital importance. We are not birthed, created to live a life that adapts and conforms to the expectations of others or of our culture. Each human life is an experiment of one. We are here for an original experience of Life and of freedom. It is never too late to learn this.

The choice is always ours.

What new life is seeking to break through to you?

Neil Diamond sings: “Some people they never wake – until the day they die.”

“In the world to come I shall not be asked, ‘Why were you not Moses?’
I shall be asked, ‘Why were you not Zusya?'”
-Rabbi Zusya

With you in awakening to who God is in us and to who we are in God here and now.

We are all sparks of the Divine flame
Blessed Be
Compassionate Be
Boldly Be

Thanksgiving and Christmas (12/14)

I am reflecting on the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas – two huge holidays with lots of family connections. For me, Thanksgiving was always at my Grandmother’s house, and I experienced it as a time of gratitude for all that had come before. What are your Thanksgiving memories?

My father died on Nov. 9, 2001 and my Mother died a month and a few weeks later on Christmas eve, Dec. 24, 2001. I wonder if I ever adequately expressed my thanksgiving for the gift of life which they gave me. My younger brother, Richard, died on Feb. 14, 2012 – death by suicide. I am grateful too for his life.

And then there is Hannukah – Christmas – New Year – which in my mind is to not look backward like Thanksgiving, but to move forward into the new and the unknown. Behold, something new is coming to us, calling us to look forward, to be conscious of our life and the new ways that it is unfolding even when we are in our 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s – even 100s!!! This is fresh, new, exciting. Creation continues. Even in our death something new is coming.

Creation continues as God, the absolute, the course, the ground of our being, is always with and within us – The Eternal Now. Yes, this time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is quite mysterious and sacred. Makes me think of this great prayer by Dag Hammarskjold:

For everything that has been – Thank you!
For everything that will be – Yes!

I invite you to ponder your experiences with Thanksgiving and Christmas and your family connections. Consider all that you are grateful for – beginning with your birth and going forward into the New Year 2015. Ponder all the new life that may be breaking forth within you in these holy days coming up and in the new year.

Like Mary, can we be open, receptive, ready to welcome the new life that is coming to each one of us? Where will we shout our “YES” to life? You might ponder your mission in life now … how can you love and serve others? Where will you hurl the moral ounces of your being?

“When we come to know our inner God, which is our true Self, we will know that the divine is in everybody.”
-Howard Murphet

With you in awakening to who God is in us and to who we are in God.

We are all sparks of the Divine flame
Blessed Be
Compassionate Be
Boldly Be

The People Whom I Meet (11/10)

 

Think about the people you really meet in life – this blessing comes to mind:

Bless to me O God, the earth beneath my feet
Bless to me O God, the path on which I go
Bless to me O God, the people whom I meet
O God of Sea and Sky, bless to my life –
As it was, as it is, and as it shall be evermore.
Amen

These words below are from Marv and Nancy Hiles, folks I have known and loved for twenty-five years. Often with only one sentence they are able to open a window into your soul transmitting infinite meaning and purpose.

“Our heart’s final wish is that we do not die unaware,
like a hapless dog beside a road,
but that we die at home,
home in all that is,
home in a mystifying cosmos that,
in its own way,
plunges toward an autumn beyond imagining.”

This music seems most appropriate. Please listen with an open heart. Let the music flow through you – opening inner spaces and your memories.

I realized last night that I had missed Marv’s 80th birthday. Some of you may want to write Marv and Nancy. Their email address: “marvsam @ comcast dot net” and “nancyhiles @ comcast dot net.”

“We find our way to our center, not by raw effort, but by attending the mysterious rhythm of our breath and pulse, that same rhythm that moves the seas and stars and that accompanies the inspiration of a newborn and the expiration of a dying person.”
-Marv and Nancy Hiles

Love to you and a gentle hug – celebrate the sacrament of life.

We are all sparks of the Divine flame
Blessed Be
Boldly Be

Don’t Take Your Organs To Heaven (11/8)

Better to Have and Not Need Than to Need and Not Have

These words were on a huge sign that I passed everyday on the way to school. This is a “Teach us to number our days” message. We all know that some day we shall die, so have we made all the necessary plans and arrangements?

Wills, Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, Executors, DNR, etc. Express your wishes. Death with Dignity.

Memorial Service – It is far easier for you to express your wishes in writing, than for grieving family members to guess at what you might have wanted. Think hymns, scripture readings, poetry, special music, location, people you want to lead the service and people you want to speak and participate. Express also what you do not want! Your thoughtful planning ahead can save loved ones a lot of anguish. Put all of this in writing and give to the appropriate people. This is the thoughtful adult thing to do.

Finally, about your body. Burial? Cremation? Organ donation? My college, Miami University of Oxford, Ohio, just published an article about Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz, a transplant surgeon. His words: “The real heroes are the people signing the back of their driver’s license to donate organs, and the families who make those hard decisions at the time of someone’s death.” Research all the possibilities. Make it clear exactly what you want. This is good stewardship. This is generosity. You can make a huge difference in the lives of others.

“Don’t take your organs to heaven. Heaven knows we need them here.”

Knowing that we too shall die, how then shall we live?

O Lord, support us all the day long, until the shadows lengthen and the evening comes, and the busy world lies hushed, and the fever of life is over, and our work is done. Then in thy mercy grant us a safe lodging, and a holy rest, and peace at the last. Amen.

Be conscious, compassionate, courageous, celebrate life.

We are all sparks of the Divine Flame
Blessed Be
Compassionate Be
Boldly Be

If You Die + Marcus Borg (10/7)

I remember my wife and I being in Greenville, South Carolina, walking out of a restaurant and being greeted by a young man from Bob Jones University. Almost at once, he asked: “If you die tonight, do you know for sure that you are going to go to heaven?”

I paused. My wife took my arm and stared at me, probably wondering what I might say. This is an opportunity for all of you to reflect on your theology, your beliefs about life and death. There are still nice looking people around with a knowing smile, thinking they are saved and you are not, who are also asking: “If you die tonight, do you know for sure that you are going to go to heaven?”

I encourage you to work out your own response to the above questions. I am thinking that you will have some very good ones.

For what it’s worth, this was my response: “First, I believe that all the way to heaven is heaven. Secondly, I believe that we are here more to bring heaven to earth, than to be waiting to leave earth to go to heaven.”

Music for your morning prayer

“Bidden or not, God is present.” -Carl Jung

“We live, and move and have our being in God now.” [Acts 17:28]

There is a change that expresses what I believe:

We all come from God and unto God do we return
Like a stream flowing back to the ocean,
Like a ray of light returning to the sun,
We all come from God and unto God do we return

And between us and God, there really is no between.

Hatching the Heart

“Spirituality is thus for the hatching of the heart. Whatever helps to open our hearts to the reality of the sacred is what we should be engaged in. This awareness leads to an image of the Christian life very different from the one with which I grew up. The Christian life is not about pleasing God the finger-shaker and judge. It is not about believing now or being good now for the sake of heaven later. It is about entering a relationship in the present that begins to change everything now. Spirituality is about this process: the opening of the heart to God who is already here.”

-From The God We Never Knew: Beyond Dogmatic Religion to a More Authentic Contemporary Faith by Marcus J. Borg

Coming Home: A Fall Contemplative Retreat

In the tradition of the Iona Retreats founded by Marv and Nancy Hiles.

“The path of real life moves from one shelter to another. We are not drifters or homeless, but seekers, pilgrims, itinerants of a hidden impulse”

–All the Days of My Life by Marv and Nancy Hiles

Robert and Nina Close announce a very special contemplative retreat at the Santa Sabine Retreat Center where they have attended for many years. Inspired by the retreats led by Marv and Nancy Hiles, quoted often in the Soul Nuggets. This retreat will blend quiet time in a perfect location, deep community, chapel gatherings, art process with Debbie Ryon, and more – all centered around the theme of “Coming Home.” Throughout our lives, that longing to be at home – with ourselves, with others – manifests in many different ways, and has much to teach us. And amidst change and transition, a sense of “homeground” is vital and can show up in many ways.

We hope that you might feel led to join us at Santa Sabina Retreat Center. Here is the information for taking the next step:

Dates: Thursday, November 13th to Sunday, November 16, 2014

Location: Santa Sabina Retreat Center, San Rafael, CA

Cost: $485 for a single room / $425 per person for a double room.

Meals: All meals are included in the total cost.

Space for the retreat is limited and is limited to a first come, first serve basis.

Contact: Are you ready to register? Do you want to have more information? Please contact Nina Frost at: nhfrost at aol dot com or call: 347-546-4029.

Teach Us To Number Our Days (10/4)

“Teach us to number our days” [Psalm 90:12]

15 years is 5,475 days

5 years is 1,825 days

1 year is 365 days

Friends, many of you, like me, are on the back nine of life. Our time here on earth is a depreciating asset. We are well advised “to number our days”, to be good stewards of the finitude of life. As elders, we want to be conscious of the legacy that we are leaving to family, friends, and those who come after us. And, it is my experience, at least, that one discovers that as “the days dwindle down to a precious few,” the days become even more precious, and grace filled, joyful, and one is thankful beyond words for the sacred gift of each day, of each breath, of this sacrament of life. So, as it has been said, “knowing that we too shall die, how then shall we live now?” The choice is always ours. Celebrate life!

Allow the music to flow through you – opening inner spaces, awakening new visions and insights. Neil Diamond sings: “Some people never awaken, until the day they die.”

The duty of a saint is to be
fully present to each moment,
to be light as a feather,
simple as a child,
fluid as water
as easily moved by
every moment of God’s grace.
-Jean Pierre de Caussade

With you in awakening to who we are in God and to who God is in us.

Coming Home: A Fall Contemplative Retreat

In the tradition of the Iona Retreats founded by Marv and Nancy Hiles.

“The path of real life moves from one shelter to another. We are not drifters or homeless, but seekers, pilgrims, itinerants of a hidden impulse”

–All the Days of My Life by Marv and Nancy Hiles

Robert and Nina Close announce a very special contemplative retreat at the Santa Sabine Retreat Center where they have attended for many years. Inspired by the retreats led by Marv and Nancy Hiles, quoted often in the Soul Nuggets. This retreat will blend quiet time in a perfect location, deep community, chapel gatherings, art process with Debbie Ryon, and more – all centered around the theme of “Coming Home.” Throughout our lives, that longing to be at home – with ourselves, with others – manifests in many different ways, and has much to teach us. And amidst change and transition, a sense of “homeground” is vital and can show up in many ways.

We hope that you might feel led to join us at Santa Sabina Retreat Center. Here is the information for taking the next step:

Dates: Thursday, November 13th to Sunday, November 16, 2014

Location: Santa Sabina Retreat Center, San Rafael, CA

Cost: $485 for a single room / $425 per person for a double room.

Meals: All meals are included in the total cost.

Space for the retreat is limited and is limited to a first come, first serve basis.

Contact: Are you ready to register? Do you want to have more information? Please contact Nina Frost at: nhfrost at aol dot com or call: 347-546-4029.

Healing Into Death and Mystery + Mystery

“What you are waiting for is already here but you do not recognize it.”
-Jesus of Nazareth

My wife and I have been attending a Wednesday, 10am meditation class at the St. James UCC in Lovettsville, VA. The class opens with a reading from Healing Into Life and Death by Steven Levine which is followed by 45 minutes of silent meditation. Then, another 45 minutes of thoughtful and prayerful personal reflection. These are deep and graced experiences and in the gathering we are mirrors and teachers to one another.

As we all are on the path of healing into life and death, here are a few words from Steven Levine for your morning prayer and reflection. Please read them slowly – slowly and aloud to yourself – seeking to savor and absorb their import.

“As a friend said, ‘We are all God, but none of us are saints.’ We have each taken birth to discover what took birth. We have each come here to finish the curriculum, to learn to keep our heart open in heaven/hell, to meet joy and delight as well as confusion and pain with awareness and mercy. We are each in the process of completing our birth, of becoming wholly present.

Entering healing beyond ideas of life and death, we become who we have always been, that which preceded birth and survives death. Recognizing that healing never ends, our life becomes whole, each step so precious, each moment approaching the grace of the ever-healed, the always uninjured, the deathless.”

Music for your prayer and reflection – Listen with your open heart.

“So it was you all along.
Everyone I ever loved, it was you.
Everyone who ever loved me, it was you.”
-C.S. Lewis

With you in awakening to the Mystery of God’s Presence with us now.

Know that you are loved, that God is with you now, always and forever.

We are all sparks of the Divine flame
Blessed Be
Boldly Be
Compassionate Be

“Being With the Dying” – Roshi Joan Halifax

“The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.” [Deut. 33:27]

This Soul Nugget is different. It seeks to deal quite sensitively with a subject that confronts everyone of us. In the words of the Very Rev. Alan Jones, “We are all future dead people.” Taking note of this, how then shall we live?

At the Spiritual Directors International gathering earlier this year, we got to hear from Roshi Joan Halifax and we visited her Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico where my wife and I had a great time with one of the young residents. We had the meditation room to ourselves for almost an hour. The conference below was filmed at the Zen Center.

If you are thinking of turning away from this and forgetting it, I urge you to reconsider. I think you will appreciate and learn much from the video. Please open yourself to the insights that will come to you here. I am aware that some of you are even now in the midst of this process. But then, we all are future dead people. Let us find the courage to be present to it all. As I am writing this now, I have received an email from my cousin stating that my Uncle is in the hospital in Kansas City on a ventilator. They are running tests for brain reactions. My Uncle served on a submarine in World War II and has always embraced each moment of life since as a pure gift.

This may be interest to some: “Caring for Dying” Trailer

Every breath is a gift of life. Every moment of life is a holy moment. Life is a sacrament. Let us not squander a moment of the sacrament of life.

With you in awakening to the mystery of God’s Presence in life and in death, here, now, always and forever.

Peace be with you

We are all sparks of the Divine flame
Blessed Be
Boldly Be
Compassionate Be